


Murder, Old Hippy Ladies, and A Tease In A Cat Suit

by sgtbuckaroobarnes



Series: Pantherpool Prompt Fills [1]
Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: I know it's an odd pair but it works....somehow, M/M, NSFW, and wade does his best to treat T'Challa the same, because of who he is as a person, boom - Freeform, he treats wade well, like he deserves, oh yeah and also, oh yeah i forgot their ship name, pantherpool, t'challa is kingly and wonderful, wade is nearly always sexually frustrated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-09-02 16:29:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8674552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgtbuckaroobarnes/pseuds/sgtbuckaroobarnes
Summary: Prompt: Wade catches a glimpse of T'challa's booty and not being able to stop thinking about it and T'challa notices and starts wearing panties under his suits and just making Wade suffer. Until Wade has had enough and ravishes T'challa.
From: anon





	

**Author's Note:**

> i know its super odd, these two together, but an anon sent me a prompt and ya know what, it works. And i really dig them together now. They counter each other well! They've gotten good feedback on tumblr, so hopefully y'all like them over here as well! enjoy!

It was fucking uncalled for, that’s what it was. Fucking uncalled for covered in chocolate with a side of you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. 

Wade was sitting on a balcony, waiting for some asshat to come out of the gym across the street. He’d been hired to take out some creepy stalker guy, by a very nice lady who was tired of being followed and actually getting scared for her life. She found Wade, gave him some money, Wade suspected it was most of what she had, and asked him to take care of it, for good. Wade had seen the fear in her eyes and agreed, the world wouldn’t miss an asshole who made nice ladies scared like that. He’d get the money back to her somehow. Plus he needed a distraction. 

So now he was sitting, waiting for some shithead, with the image of T’Challa’s ass stuck in his head. And it was unfair. No one should have an ass that good. It was the best looking ass Wade had ever seen. So round, and pert and..and…firm. Wade was willing to bet money that he could bounce a quarter off it, he was gonna try someday if it killed him. And it might, kings of countries don’t typically enjoy having change bounced off their ass’s, at least Wade would assume. Anyway, not the point. 

It was killing him, he’d seen T’Challa bending over to get something and now the image was stuck in his head and he was dying. Sure, it was a nice way to go, but fuck. The worst thing was, T’Challa knew, he knew what his ass was doing to Wade and he’d found a way to make it worse. So so much worse. 

The fucker had started wearing panties. Honest to god panties, under his tight as fuck cat suit, and Wade could see the outline and sometimes even see the damn lace edges and his brain was on fire. Or he was gonna set it on fire… one of those. 

He slammed his head against the railing on the balcony, groaning with every clang that rang out through the air. The doors of the gym opened and he sat up straighter, hoping it was the guy, it wasn’t. He groaned and threw his head back then pulled one of his pistols from its holster. 

“I could do it, I could it right now.” He said to no one as he held the gun to his own head.

“It wouldn’t matter. Not really. A couple of hours and I’d be right as rain again.” He moved his finger to rest on the trigger. 

“Maybe if I angle it just right I can somehow erase the memory from head.” He moved his gun a little, tilting it to the right a bit.

“I just gotta get the bullet in the exactly right spot and then- oh hey there he is.” Wade shoved his gun back into the holster and jumped off the balcony, landing lightly on his feet and jogging across the street. He waited for the guy to drive to the exit, standing at the bus stop there and then he opened his passenger side door and hoped in the car with him. The guy looked startled and slammed on the brakes. Wade jerked forward and smacked his hands onto the dashboard then turned to look at the guy slowly. 

“Dude, what the fuck?” he asked. 

“Get the fuck out of my car!” the guy yelled. Wade raised his eyebrows at him and then pulled his gun out again, this time pointing it at the guys head instead of his own.

“You wanna try that again?” Wade asked, cocking his head to the side. The guy shook his head, looking terrified.

“I didn’t think so. Now drive.” He said, motioning with his gun for the guy to move. He just looked at him.

“W-where do you want me to g-go?” he stammered, his hands white knuckled on the steering wheel. Wade shrugged.

“Surprise me.” 

They drove around for about an hour, Wade telling him where to turn sometimes, other times just letting him pick. Wade was also ranting to the guy about how this asshole with a nice ass kept wearing pretty panties and not letting him see them. The guy kept glancing at him, looking less and less scared and more and more annoyed. Wade smirked to himself when he saw the guy pull into the parking lot of what looked like an abandoned warehouse. Why there were always abandoned warehouses all over the place Wade would never figure out. The guy parked, turned the car off and turned to him.

“Listen asshole, I don’t give a shit about this faggot you’re into or any of that shit, get the fuck out of my-“ he cut off, his mouth dropping open in a shocked “O” as Wade grabbed the guys gun out of the glove box and held it under his chin, all in one fluid movement.

“What the fuck. Did you. Just say?” he asked.

“And maybe don’t actually repeat yourself, if you’d like to live a little bit longer.” He continued, cocking the hammer of the guy’s gun back and pressing it deeper into his skin. 

“I- nothing…just- just let me go man.” He said, holding his hands up and looking like he was about to cry. Wade looked at him, pretended to consider it and then shrugged and lowered the gun. 

“Sure.”

“Really?”

“No.” Wade said, moving the gun back up and shooting the guy in the arm. He put his hand over the guy’s mouth to stop his screaming. 

“Now, I’m gonna tell you why I’m doing this, and then I’m gonna shoot you in the fucking head. Sound fun? No? Too bad.” Wade said, his voice rumbling in his throat. The guys eyes widened and he shook his head under Wade’s hand. Wade nodded over exaggeratedly in return, his eyes also widening.

“We’re gather here today because you sir, are a fucking creep. You’ve been stalking Sarah, or Sasha… or whatever the hell her name is, for months, six of them, if she counts right. And because I know things, I know that if she’s known you were following her for six, you’ve probably been around for about nine.” The guys eyes narrowed as Wade paused and he tilted his head. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re an asshole, and judging by the fact that I just pulled a gun out of your glove box,” Wade paused, thinking about what he’d just said.

“That sounded dirtier than I meant it too, but anywho, judging by that fact, I’d say she had a right to be terrified of you. You sick fuck.” Wade spat and moved is hand away from the guy, sitting back in his seat, and pretending to be examining the gun in his hand.

“Did I miss anything?” Wade asked, looking up at him, and cocking the gun with a smile. 

“L-listen, I know how this looks but I’d never hurt her man, okay? I love h-“ 

Wade pulled the trigger.

The guy jerked backwards and then slumped in his seat, sliding down a bit and leaving a thick trail of blood behind him. Wade sighed and dropped the gun in the guys lap. He yawned and got out the car and then set the car on fire. As he was walking away the image of T’Challa came dancing back into his head, his ass looking gorgeous wrapped in lace and some other really nice looking material that Wade just wanted to rub his face on. 

“Fucking cocking sucking mother fucking shit!” he yelled as he stomped away from the burning car, letting an explicative fly with every step. 

He headed for the subway. Flopping down in a seat hard, the old woman sat across from him was staring. Wade eyed her tie-dye sweat shirt and the “free love” pin on her bag and smiled, she smiled back. He leaned forward a bit and curled his finger at her, motioning for her to do the same, she did.

“So you uh, you’re a pretty open minded person right? Just going by your pin there and the fact that you look like you’ve been living for quite a while and I mean you look like you been LIVING not just living, if you know what I mean. Would I be right in assuming that?” Wade asked, watching her smile bigger as he talked. 

“I suppose you could say so yes.” She said, her voice quiet, but Wade thought he detected a bit of giddiness. He smiled back and nodded. 

“Just as I suspected. And that is wonderful. First of all, well done you, you’re doing great things. Congrats on all the sex.” She giggled at this and didn’t shy away at all, Wade loved this old lady. 

“So, if say, you were in the position where you sometimes, occasionally, worked alongside a king, and this king has a great ass, I mean, like, the best, most perkiest ass you’ve ever seen, I’m working on the quarter bouncing, just give me time.” She giggled again and leaned closer, her eyes widening a bit as he talked.

“And say this great assed king wears tight spandex all of the time. And then one day he sees you staring at his perfect ass, and so starts wearing very very nice looking lingerie underneath, and he knows that you can see it, and you know he knows that you can see it and every time you see him you just wanna peel off his cat suit like you peel wax off those tiny round cheeses and lick him. But you can’t, cuz you’re a dick and he’s a king and it just wouldn’t be professional.” Wade paused and inhaled deeply, needing air from his rant. The little old lady was nodding, Wade felt that somehow, she understood him perfectly. He definitely loved her. 

The guy sitting a few seats down from Wade was side eyeing the pair of them, looking annoyed. Wade ignored him.

“Say that you were in that situation, what would you do?” Wade asked, opening his hands and holding them out to her like he was waiting for her to hand him something. She smiled, tilted her head and took his hands in her small wrinkly ones, giving them a squeeze and looking at him comfortingly. 

“I would jump his bones and tap that.” She said, her voice sounding amused but serious. Wade barked a laugh and patted her hands.

“Oh come on seriously, this is disgusting.” The guy next to Wade muttered. Wade smiled charmingly at the old lady and moved his left hand away from hers. The next moment he had his gun pointed at the guy next to him. 

“Well if you don’t like it you can fucking move, I’m trying to have a serious conversation with this old hippy saint here if you don’t fucking mind.” He said, all while still smiling. The guy just stared at him.

“Fucking move!” Wade yelled and the guy ran off down the train. Wade smiled again and holstered his gun, turning back to her. 

“Seriously, I think I love you. And if my heart and also my penis, didn’t already belong to a man who runs around in a cat suit and lingerie, I’d seriously contemplate giving them both to you.” Wade said sincerely. She giggled again. 

“Oh my god never stop doing that, old lady giggles make the world a better place.” He said, squeezing her hand. She full on laughed and he smiled at her. This lady was the best, he hoped she had lots of loving grand kids, and if she didn’t, if they were shitty grand kids, he’d kill them. Literally. She looked at him for a second longer.

“Honestly though dear, this man seems like he’s just teasing you for fun. I say go get him.” She said as the train pulled to a stop. Wade nodded, giving her hand another squeeze.

“You are absolutely fucking right, I’m gonna go find him and just…just…fucking ravish him.” Wade said, his head going foggy with the idea, he shook it to clear it and focused back on the old lady. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek through his mask and hopped up, headed for the door. 

“I love you Ethel!” he called, turning around once his feet were on the platform.

“I hope your grand kids are nice to you! And love you! And if they don’t I’ll find them! I’ll find them and kill them Ethel I swear I will!” he yelled, jogging after the train as it pulled away again. He saw her laugh and wave through the window, she blew him a kiss as the train passed out of sight. He sighed happily and then turned around. There were four people on the platform staring at him. 

“What the fuck are you looking at.” He said, they all looked down at their phones, he smirked and headed toward the exit, and toward his tall handsome cat man. 

~***~

He hadn’t gone about this the right way. 

He’d stormed in, ready to confront T’Challa, literally the man of his dreams he’d been haunting him that much, to find him standing in his bedroom, wearing a pair of red and black satin panties. He groaned and fell to the floor as his knees buckled. And then T’Challa had fucking stalked toward him until his dick was eye level with Wade’s fucking face and Wade couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward. He pressed his face against T’Challa’s dick and groaned again, licking his lips under his mask.

The rest was kind of a blur, he was pretty sure he’d had T’Challa’s cock in his mouth at some point, he definitely had that “I just sucked a dick” feeling in his throat. But like he said, blur. 

He was now laying on the bed, totally naked, covered in cum, not all of it his. He was out of breath and he felt like he’d just had an orgy and he’d only slept with one fucking guy. He turned his head to the side to see T’Challa lying next to him looking spent, still wearing the panties. Wade groaned again and turned away, covering his face with his arm like a fainting maiden in a movie. 

“You fucking did it on purpose. You asshole.” Wade said and heard T’Challa chuckle next to him. 

“Well I had to do something, you’d have just kept staring and not acting if I’d done nothing.” He said, moving his hand to wrap his fingers around Wade’s bicep, giving it a squeeze. Wade looked at him again and smiled what he was sure was a dopey fucking smile. 

“Fair enough.” He said with a shrug, his eyes dropping to the panties again. 

“Fuck.” He breathed and closed his eyes. T’Challa chuckled again and then Wade felt him get off the bed. He opened his eyes and watched him head toward the bathroom. 

“Good color choice by the way.” Wade said, sliding off the bed and digging around in one of the pouches on his suit.

“I thought you’d appreciate that.” He said looking around on the ground for something.

“I’ve been only wearing red and black one’s, just in case you sa-“ he cut off and turned to look at Wade slowly. 

“Fucking yes! I knew it would work! I fucking called that shit!” Wade cheered, his fists pumping in the air. He rolled back onto the bed and laid down, his arm tucked under his head as he looked at T’Challa, who was still staring at. 

“Did…did you just throw a quarter at my ass?” he asked, sounding baffled and little offended. 

“Yes. Yes I fucking did.” Wade said with a smile, closing his eyes and relaxing into the bed, feeling immensely satisfied.

He fucking knew he could bounce a quart off that ass.


End file.
